women my age

Don't fall in love.
How am i tired of useless fucking already at 20?
sluts and condoms don't make a night fun.
I miss the comfort of intimacy, I miss finding the special girls blonde hairs tangled in mine, I miss laying next to someone afterwards and it not being awkward or fake.
I guess what i'm saying is i kind of miss a decent relationship.
(and as soon as i typed that a flurry of memories sprang up)
as always a stomach ache ensues, i never thought panic attacks, anxiety were real, until i started having them.
where is my mind...